I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS

I went to an early screening of this film and was not able to write about it until now and I’ve been bursting the whole time.  After all of the talk about who was going to release it, and whether or not the holdup was due to content or business, I was intrigued to see what the fuss was all about.  Now that I’ve seen the film I can clearly see why co-writer/directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa were eager to get it out to the public.  It’s a unique and hilarious story, based on true events, and it has top-notch performances by Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. 

Carrey plays Steven Russell, the real-life con-man that broke out of a Texas jail multiple times to be with his titular lover played with naïve, Forrest Gump-ish charm, by Ewan McGregor.  Leslie Mann plays the good Christian girl he married while trying to live the straight life.  He quickly leaves her after a near-fatal car accident he has driving home from a male lover’s home inspires him to live his life openly.  They remain friends after divorcing and she keeps in touch with him throughout his many colorful misadventures, always gently reminding him that he has a friend in Jesus.  Phillip, who is serving time for a car rental gone wrong, meets Steven in a prison library, and it’s love at first sight.  Soon Steven has maneuvered the system to allow them to be cell mates and their love blossoms. 

Once they are both free men Steven quickly uses his sharp brain and silver tongue to get himself a job that he is completely unqualified for, on paper at least, as Chief Financial Officer for a medical management firm, but manages to make them enough money that no one notices right away how much he’s pocketing.  Of course, the proverbial shit hits the fan, and then start the multiple jail breaks that are really too fun to spoil in this review, but take my word for it they are a riot.  The relationship between Phillip and Steven, as well as the one between Phillip and his ex-wife, feel lived-in and natural, a credit to all of the leads.  

And though the film is for the most part uproariously funny, there are touching and sad moments that are well-tempered and add a welcome balance to the film.  The language is very adult and can be crass at times, (these are the writers of Bad Santa after all), but if you can take it, it’s definitely worth the ride.

Vampire Diaries : Episode 4 & 5

First of all I want to apologize for the absence of a post last week.  It turns out my DVR has a mind of its own and didn’t record episode four so it took a day or so (after some frantic net searches and two temperamental downloads) to see the episode and by then I was thoroughly bogged down with homework and the like.  It sucked because I was excited about the return of Katherine, who is easily my favorite character (You hear that Kevin Williamson? She’d better stick around), and she came back in top bewitching form haunting Stefan’s dreams and continuing to try to manipulate his emotions.  Our boy, perpetually solemn and broody, still wasn’t biting…at first.  He did get some info out of her about werewolves and she confirmed that their bite could be deadly to vampires.  Speaking of deadly to vamps, how about the neat trick she pulled with the vervane building up a tolerance by ingesting it for years.  I guess if you stick around for a few centuries then you pick up a few things. 

Her whole confession of love for Stefan in the dungeon was totally bogus and I knew it, but I think she had Stefan for moment there.  I am convinced that she doesn’t want to hurt them, but I also know she can’t be trusted and has something bigger under her sleeve.  We got a glimpse of that this week, which brought up more questions than answers. At the end of episode five, it was revealed that she’s been in cahoots with the sexy Mason Lockwood the whole time.  Nice little twist by the way.  But we still don’t know what’s up with the damned moonstone.  I’m guessing it prolongs wolfiness or that it is part of a larger spell to make Katherine invincible.  She was the one who came up with the rings in the first place, right?  I also think that Emily is still alive and helping her with all of this.  Who’s with me on that one?

In the meantime, Wolfie Jr., is trying to cope with the fact that being cursed means that if he kills somebody, even accidentally, he’ll be “on all fours howling at the moon” once a month.  Hey, it beats having a period.  The chances of this happening are especially high in Mystic Falls since, let’s face it, the casualty rate on this show is somewhere between The Sopranos and Oz.  Since his uncle seems to be all but avoiding the issue and his mom, with constant duties as acting mayor, pageant queen smile at the ready, remains seemingly clueless, he has struck up an unlikely friendship with Jeremy, who I was glad to see back.  Jeremy, determined to find out about the Lockwood’s family curse, sets out to engage Tyler.  On another network the seduction might have been a bit more blatant, but I have a feeling that Tyler and Jeremy want to be more than just art buddies.  Their love triangle with Vicky seems to have connected them in a way that their nascent sexualities aren’t yet able to understand.  If you think I’m reaching then observe Tyler with Matt, who he’s known forever, and then watch him and Jeremy.  Anyway, that will take a while (at least a season) to fully develop.  For now, they have to liquor-up easy local girls to keep up appearances.  When one of them almost died at Tyler’s hand, he realized that he didn’t want the curse and eventually gave the moonstone to his uncle.  Never mind that tough lesson learned about the perils of teenaged drinking.

Caroline has been on a rollercoaster since being turned into a vamp, thanks mostly to Katherine, who set the whole thing in motion.  First she got her to spy on Stefan and Elena and try to persuade them to break up.   I know she was under Katherine’s orders, but what she said about their love being doomed is true and I was waiting for someone to bring it up, although, to the credit of the writers, they haven’t been dwelling on it because that would be tired and overdone.  Caroline was also forced to reveal her new life to her mother Lizzie, (where the heck has she been?) in a bold move to save Stefan and Damon.  Poor Lizzie, first she finds out her good friend Damon is really a vampire and she has to kill him, then it turns out her daughter is one too.  It will be interesting to see what happens next week when she’s supposed to have her memory erased and go on her merry way.  I don’t think for a second that that’s the way it’s gonna go down. 

Damon is usually at the bottom of everything that’s awry and this week was no exception.  If he had never tried to kill Mason, he wouldn’t have had to worry about him outing them to Lizzie and the council.  But Damon did show some mercy on Lizzie (and even got props from Elena for it) proving that he really could be a friend to someone.  Now if she will return the favor remains to be seen.  She’s already disowned her vamp daughter Caroline and I doubt she plans to leave Chez Salvatore without a fight. 

Stefan and Elena remain a tight unit.  After some fake fighting in front of Caroline to throw Katherine off the scent of what was really going on, they had to have a serious conversation about Stefan going back on people blood to build up strength to fight Katherine.  Elena initially didn’t like the idea but, with some nudging from Damon, she ultimately decided that they should do it together and she gave him some of her own blood.  It’s moments like these when I’m glad this is The CW and not HBO because the bloody sex scenes on True Blood frankly gross me out.

Next week, I’m looking forward to more being revealed about the enigmatic moonstone.  Katherine obviously needs it for something, so what is it?  I’m not looking forward to more sanctimonious whining from Bonnie when the rest of the Scoobies need her help again.  Why don’t they just train Jeremy as a warlock or something, at least he knows how to look hot and cooperate.  Speaking of warlocks, we didn’t get to see much of Alaric (who’s back to being Alaric!) these last two episodes, other than his brief appearance at Jenna’s barbecue.  He knows a little too much about everything to just be a sitting duck. And more importantly is the lucky Nina Dobrev gonna get to make out with the rest of the hot guys in the cast? She’s already kissed both Salvatore brothers and now Mason Lockwood.   Katherine has mentioned her attraction to Matt a few times and I wouldn’t be surprised if she swapped spit with her great-great-great-great-son-in-law Alaric.  Whatever happens, I’ll definitely be glued to the screen next week.    

The Social Network: Review

Like a lot of other people this weekend I went to see what everyone’s dubbing The Facebook Movie.  I’m still wondering how many people even know what it’s about, and if they’re expecting some sort of interactive Facebook experience when they see it.  For people who don’t know, it’s the story of how Mark Zuckerberg created the ubiquitous social networking site and all the people he allegedly screwed over in the process.  Jesse Eisenberg (he of hyper-intelligent emo nerdiness) plays Zuckerberg like the smartest douchebag you ever met.  I wanted to smack him about thirty seconds into the opening scene, with the engaging Rooney Mara (The American “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”), and was hoping her character would do it for me.  She didn’t, but she did dump him which, for just that conversation alone, I’m sure was thoroughly deserved.  

Eisenberg is convincing in the role and by most accounts it’s a good performance, but he failed to make me feel for the character at all.  Then again, maybe that’s the point.  The film was adapted from the book The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich, that is reportedly compiled mostly from the point of view of Eduardo Saverin, co-founder and former CFO of Facebook, and most importantly, Zuckerberg’s ex-bff.  In the film he’s portrayed by Andrew Garfield, (star of the new Spider Man reboot.  Why that is happening at all is beyond me, but that’s another blog for another time) and he does a fine job at creating a sympathetic, believable character. 

The film is centered around two lawsuits Zuckerberg is facing, one by Saverin and the other by the Winklevoss twins (an excellent Armie Hammer whose face was digitally superimposed over another actor's to play both parts.  Easily the coolest thing about the whole movie) and Divya Narendra (Max Minghella), Harvard students who claim that Zuckerberg stole their idea for a social networking site exclusively for students at the school and turned it into Facebook.  I never really understood, and still don’t get, how it’s any different than myspace.com or Friendster.com (remember that?) as intellectual property.  Meaning, if those sites can’t sue him or each other, I don’t see how anyone else with a similar site or idea could either.  Not to mention that, in the film, they talk about how the Harvard students’ directory pages were online “facebooks” which is where they all seemed to really get the idea, but Harvard wasn’t suing him for anything.  

Although, I felt like the characters in the film talked way too much, I have to give screenwriter Aaron Sorkin credit for his mostly sharp dialogue and for building a compelling story out of what were essentially two boring depositions.  Also, director David Fincher does a good job at creating a realistic atmosphere of backstabbing, greed and animosity without overdoing it.  At its center, however, is a character that remains enigmatic throughout.  As he’s presented, Zuckerberg doesn’t seem to be motivated by money, and as much as the film hints at his need to belong, when Napster creator Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake) shows up and introduces him to the sex and drugs side of being an internet rock star, he never seems to be interested in partying, only working on code and expanding the company.  Maybe he wants to be connected to everyone, but doesn’t know how to do it any other way.  Maybe he’s a calculated business man.  Maybe he’s a hurt little boy.  We leave the film never knowing. 

Vampire Diaries: Episode 3

First things first, I’m so glad it was a hot day in Mystic Falls this week.  We got tank tops galore and lightly glistening biceps to spare.  As long as The CW stays decidedly tweeny that’s the best we’re gonna get so we might as well enjoy.  This weeks episode went right into the big Lockwood family secret, which honestly gets more ridiculous the longer they drag it out.  We all know what the curse is so what’s the holdup? We did, at least, finally get confirmation this week when Uncle Mason, in all his glistening glory, went to the abandoned Lockwood family property in the woods followed closely by Tyler (you would think his bionic wolf ears would’ve heard his nephew behind him), who decides he wants to have a pool party in the watering hole.  Tyler knows something is up, but still isn’t sure exactly what.  Then later we get a nice sweaty shirtless scene of Uncle Wolfie in the abandoned basement of the property restraining himself in preparation for his transformation.

It was sort of cute and refreshing how even the vamps didn’t know about werewolves.  Since 1864 Damon (or Stefan apparently) has never encountered one.  Whatever.  It was good to see Alaric (or ‘Ric’ as they now insist on calling him) back in the fold.  I still think with a name like that he is some other kind of supernatural being, or someone with a dark family history.  I don’t care what they say, that name belongs to a warlock or an oracle.  Ric (I’ll just do it too), took Damon and Elena on a road trip to dig up some of Isobel’s research to find out what she might know about the lycanthropes and Katherine.  There they learned that vampires turned out to be werewolves’ prey of choice and a werewolf bite could kill them.  Uh oh!  And after a back and forth of "are we/aren’t we friends" between Damon and Elena, he gave her a book they found containing info about Katherine’s past.  They haven’t yet revealed what’s in the book, but we do know that Katherine is Russian and her surname is Petrova.  This made her cooler and sexier to me for some reason.

(you're welcome=)

Stefan stayed behind to take care of Caroline and help her through her vamp transition.  This involved them enlisting a reluctant Bonnie to put an invincibility spell on another ring for Caroline.  Of course, Bonnie had to go on her moral high horse again,“ I don’t wanna make it easier for her to hurt people. Blah, blah, blah” Just be a witch already.  I had a feeling she would be called on to do this at some point, but I’m with Caroline. Where was the magical witchiness?? If the friggin thing can make you virtually unkillable you’d think she would at least need to make a potion to dip it in or something.  On Buffy, Willow’s eyes would’ve at least gone black and on True Blood a chicken would’ve been sacrificed. Very disappointed.

Anyway, once Caroline was able to go out into the light she got a bunch of vamp coaching from Stefan on how to cope with her knew life (or death).  Her heightened insecurities caused her to go all jealous girlfriend on, the adorably confused, Matt when some girl was chatting him up at the watering hole.  Their intimate make-up/make-out session in the woods was interrupted by a wolfed-out Uncle Mason trying to attack Caroline.  When Tyler was trying to mack on the same skanky girl that was flirting with Matt in the basement of the property, Uncle Mason fled to his SUV in the woods (that I’m sure he thought would be equally as effective as the chains and restraints in the basement).  Tyler and Stefan both stepped in to help Caroline, Tyler being the one to actually get the wolf to flee, simply by asking it to.  Soon after, Tyler and Matt were both seemingly glamoured to forget the whole ordeal (and that unfortunate moment where Caroline fed on Matt in the heat of passion. Oops!).   

Although Tyler obviously remembered his interaction with the wolf because when the naked Uncle Mason (Damn you CW Network for not being TV-14!!) returned to his SUV looking for his pants they finally confirmed that Tyler knows the family secret.  Now Uncle Mason has some serious explaining to do and I hope he starts with why Tyler doesn’t change at the full moon.  My guess is he has to turn 18 for the family curse to set in.  But seriously, can Tyler just go Teen Wolf already? 

The scene in the woods with the super-swift wolf out to get Stefan and Caroline’s vampy blood was intense and heart-pounding, and I’m not afraid to admit that I was screaming at the television.  I’m convinced Caroline isn’t going to make it to the end of the season, so every time she’s in danger, in my head I’m thinking, “Here it comes!”  Alas, she and Stefan survived unscathed, at least physically.  Caroline was emotionally scared by feeding on Matt and then after she made another jealous girlfriend scene at The Max (or The Peach Pit or The Bronze wherever they hang out), he unceremoniously dumped her and she felt even worse.  Now, I’m sure she’s angry and vulnerable and in the perfect position for Katherine to take advantage of her.  And at the end of the episode the bitch was back!

As soon as I saw the fierce Farrah hair at the foot of Caroline’s bed I squealed with delight!! (Never mind how she got inside the house in the first place.)  I can’t wait to see what her next move is and what the first meeting between she and Elena will be like.  I’m sure they will tease out the details of Katherine’s ultimate diabolical plan throughout the season (I don’t buy the, ‘I came back for Stefan’ crap for a second), but I’m hoping for a nice chunk to chew on next week. 

Other things that I hope to be filled in on soon are: The budding romance with Ric and Elena’s aunt.  He kissed her at the end of this episode so I’m curious to see how it develops.  Will she finally find out what’s really going on in Mystic Falls, or does she already know more than she’s letting on? My guess is the latter.  Also, Lizzie, Caroline’s mom has been M.I.A. what’s up with that? And where was Jeremy? Can't wait until next week!

 

Vampire Diaries

So okay, after the cliffhanger that ended the first season of the increasingly impressive Vampire Diaries, I had been waiting anxiously all summer to find out what havoc Katherine was going to wreak in Mystic Falls this season.  From the flashbacks in the first season we had already gotten a glimpse of Elena’s doppelganger ancestor as a bewitching vamp with a penchant for toying with the hearts of men and she proved she could be vicious as well with her finger chopping present day intro in the finale.  In last week’s season opener she didn’t disappoint.  She came into town with a bang going from the finger chopping to flirty and manipulative impersonations of Elena and finally smothering and killing Caroline, who was saved (and cursed) by having Damon’s blood in her veins and setting her on the fast track to vamp city.  

I was sad to see that this week (and from the looks of things next week) Katherine won’t be back yet. And I’m sure Nina Dobrev, who plays the dual roles of Elena and Katherine was disappointed too, since she seemed to sink her teeth (sorry) into the role.  In this week’s episode Caroline, half wigged-out/ half realizing what was happening to her, drank human blood in the hospital and her transformation was complete.  The problem is now she has to figure out how to tell her childhood buddy turned boyfriend, the ever adorable, Matt (below). 

She barely dodged the sun during his daytime visit to the hospital, and at the end of the episode he told her he loved her for the first time still not knowing what she’s become.  She also has to deal with Damon wanting to kill her to keep her from exposing them and basically ruining everything.  For now Stephan and Elena have convinced him that it is out of the question, but Damon has never been one to give up so easily so if I were Caroline I’d keep my guard up.  And honestly as a viewer and a TV storyline connoisseur (in my head) I have the feeling that she may not make it to the end of this season. 

As for Damon, he seems to be keeping his feelings about Katherine coming back for Stephan and not him in check for now, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he will eventually implode.  At the moment, he is occupying himself with figuring out the Lockwood’s family secret, which anybody with eyes can see is that they’re werewolves.  Tyler Lockwood, for all his hotness, seems to be just as clueless as Damon even though he’s the one with the curse.  I’m sure they will explain how he hasn’t realized this (and it had better be good), but I will be glad when they get past it and he can unleash the wolf (and his shirt again!).

 Sexy uncle Mason Lockwood (below) returned to Mystic Falls, following the death of his brother the mayor, and unleashed a bit of werewolf whoop-ass (sans the fangs and hairiness) on an unsuspecting guy that Damon compelled to pick a fight with Tyler.  I was hoping that Uncle Mason would take this opportunity to finally tell Tyler the family secret, but he tried to explain it away like it was nothing.  Sorry, but my uncle can’t jump 10 feet in the air and his eyes don’t turn yellow in the moonlight either.  Luckily, to his credit, Tyler didn’t believe him.  And he quickly hid the family moonstone (as if that doesn’t scream werewolf!!) that his uncle was suspiciously snooping around for.  Looking at the clip from next week it looks like the werewolf will be unleashed and at least Elena and the Salvatore brothers will realize what it is.  I have a feeling that Tyler will remain in the dark for another week though.

Bonnie, who with Elena got to run the school carnival while Caroline was incapacitated at the hospital, also gets the thankless role of being the person that realizes vampires are usually pretty bad people.  She reminded everybody (again) what a powerful and angry witch she is by setting Damon on fire in an attempt to kill him once she found out Caroline’s fate.  A few people have mentioned to me that they’ve noticed a flirtatious hint of sexual tension between Bonnie and Damon.  This would be intriguing, but I’m not so sure.  I have a feeling that either Damon (or Uncle Mason) will soon be “comforting” the newly widowed Mrs. Lockwood.  I also hope to see Katherine make good on her subtle threat to seduce Matt in the guise of Elena.

  Bonnie had briefly got the attention of a guy working at the carnival only to find out hours later that he was Caroline’s first victim.  This was after he was pummeled by the Lockwoods. (Yep, same dude). Poor guy.  And speaking of poor guys, Jeremy, Elena’s emo younger brother, seems to be desperately searching for a purpose.  Two of his girlfriends have now been killed, he’s attempted suicide and had his neck snapped by Damon.  Thanks to his father’s invincibility ring he’s still alive, but I can’t blame the guy for not being excited about it.  He tried to kill Damon, but had a change of heart and seemed to be as lost as ever at the episode’s end.  Next week I’m looking forward to a half-naked wolf uncle and some answers to my many, many questions.  How will Matt take it when he finds out Caroline is a vampire? Will uncle werewolf be a friend or foe to the Salvatore brothers? Will Jeremy get a girlfriend that lives long enough to finish high school? And where the hell is Alaric?  I guess we’ll all have to stay tuned.

2010 VMAs

The 2010 MTV Video Music Awards reminded me of why, prior to last year, I had all but abandoned this awards show and MTV in general. Not necessarily because of the often lamented fact that they never show videos anymore, or that the “programming” that they air in place of said videos makes me feel intelligent and superior at best and actually makes me dumber at worse. No, I’m basically just not a fan of most popular artists that are in (relatively) heavy rotation on the channel (or the radio for that matter) since the turn of the century.  Once Britney, N'Sync and Eminem took dominance over the station and were soon joined by Alicia Keys, Pink, Christina and Limp Bizkit I had virtually lost interest in popular music as I had once new it.  


Not to mention in the last five years I have come to the conclusion that music videos themselves have become a virtually outmoded art form.  I had stopped watching them and basically felt that everyone I spoke to on a regular basis had done the same.  Also, the decline in industry budgets has put a huge damper on the quality level of videos and whatever middling level of artistry some of the current acts today can muster. That said, the reason I had a renewed interest in the show last year was not only the MJ tribute http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ9tdDQq8Cc featuring none other than Janet herself (surely mending her relationship with the network after that Nipplegate untidiness), and the appearance of one Lady Gaga, who singlehandedly seems to be trying to bring the art form back to relevance.  And the 2009 show itself was great. It was nice to see Janet and Madonna be apart of the MJ tribute (they even quietly bonded by both inexplicably wearing Bop-its).  Gaga didn’t disappoint with her performance art/melodrama Paparazzi and Beyonce, always a consummate performer, reminded us why the most parodied and played out song of the year, still belongs to her in the end.  


As for this year, with a record 13 nominations (and ultimately 8 wins) Gaga was again a big part of the draw for me.  You would think that the most nominated artist of the night would be a shoo-in to perform, but alas, Gaga remained a (stunning) red carpet spectacle, yet didn't get to grace the stage.  This set the tone for a night of diminishing returns.  


Russel Brand was sorely missed as his irreverent, sober, but still the life-of-the-party, antics were replaced with the acerbic to the point of being shrill and bitchy (not in a good way) comedic stylings of Chelsea Handler.  She had a couple of funny moments like her auto-tuned meet and greet with Jason Derulo in a skit with the Best New Artist nominees, but for the most part came across as mean-spirited and unfunny.  She won some points for FINALLY doing something with her hair, but I hope they don't ask her back next year.


The performances were mostly forgettable which is unfortunate because there was potential for much more.  The WAY over-hyped Taylor Swift/Kanye West incident that should've ended last year was unsuccessfully milked by both performers although Swift gets points for making good use of the awesome set in the opening of her number.  I'm not sure what was going on with Kanye and the ballet dancers.


I'm not sure if anyone over 21 is ready for Nicki Minaj.  I feel like the younger generation is more open to her Tourette's noises, stink faces and outfits that range between dirty south stripper and robot Garbage Pail Kid.  That said, I like her and I liked her new single Check It Out with Will-I-am (looking like a black Gumby).  Usher seemed to be phoning it in for some reason, trotting out the same tired lasers he's used in umpteen videos and that plexiglass wall thing that I've seen him use to better effect on other award shows.  Maybe he wanted to allow his protege Justin Bieber to shine, which he did in a performance that wasn't necessarily innovative, but fun and well executed.  
The performance of the night for me though was Florence and the Machine.  She used the set well and owned the stage and belted out Dog Days Are Over like nobody's business!  I have been told of her awesomeness by friends for months now, but until I saw her live I had not really felt compelled to check her out.  And now I'd recommend that anyone reading this does the same...  http://www.amazon.com/Lungs/dp/B002F6FQGK/ref=sr_shvl_album_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1284435927&sr=301-1


As for the fashion, of course, it was all over the place, and once again Lady Gaga could be counted on to wear something everyone would be talking about the next day.  Yes I'm referring to the meat outfit that she explained on an Ellen appearance http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1647701/20100913/lady_gaga.jhtml

However, my favorite of her gowns was the black leather ball gown. Other standouts were Rihanna channeling Madonna circa 1984. (Loved the dress, but the jury is still out on the Ronald McDonald hair). And I wanted to steal Jared Leto's gray leather jacket he wore when his band 30 Seconds to Mars accepted their award. 


Overall, I guess I'm not looking forward to next year, but 365 days is plenty of time for something unexpected and wonderful to happen so who knows.  There might be something worth watching for (the return of Amy Winehouse, for example, would be nice), but I won't hold my breath.  


Oh and finally for anyone who was wondering. Yes, Cher really can turn back time.   Work Bitch!

Random thoughts....

I just had some random thoughts I'd like to share:

I watched the film Penelope with the good doctor a while back and I thought it was pretty cute, but remember when Christina Ricci and Reese Witherspoon used to be edgy?

I know Jenna Malone took the emo girl roles from Ricci, but where is she at now? (and Gabby Hoffman and Anna Chlumsky?) And Reese used to do stuff like Freeway, SFW and Election and now she does Sweet Home Alabama. I like Rom-Coms if they're done right and I LOVE the first Legally Blonde, but I just wish she'd go back to stuff like that.

Speaking of rom-coms, I need Kate Hudson and JLo to stop making them. Hudson is funny, but she needs someone else to pick her scripts, and JLo is funny sometimes, but not rom-com cutesy funny that's why most of them don't work. She's actually more edgy sarcastic funny that's why she was good in Out of Sight. Let Jules and Sandra stick to rom-coms, it's a reason they're the queens.

Also, I feel like Vivica Fox should have her own show on a cable network where she can look fierce and wear power suits. Glenn Close, Holly Hunter and Kyra Sedgwick have all done it and I think that would be a perfect platform for somebody like Vivica who's spunky, sexy and likeable, but doesn't always get to show her range. It would have been cool like 10 years ago if she had remade some of the Pam Grier blaxploitation films like Coffy or Foxy Brown w/ Tarantino, but now it's probably too late and I can't think of another actress with range that's stacked like her.

I wish Neil LeBute would write something really great for Paul Rudd and Julia Roberts to star in together. He writes edgy black comedies and I think they'd be perfect together for some reason, but just not a stupid rom-com. And also after Eat, Pray, Love I hope that we can see more Jules.

I want Ang Lee to do a film that reminds me why I loved him so much in the first place. Crouching Tiger was almost ten years ago and everything since then has left me feeling underwhelmed (Yes, Heath was a revelation in Brokeback but overall I thought he handled gay love better in The Wedding Party).

And speaking of Brokeback, why the hell is Jake Gyllenhall in this stupid Prince of Persia piece of crap? What happened to the Donnie Darko days of old? He needs to take note from Joseph Gordon-Levitt on how to be the handsome nerd that made him famous in the first place.

Where's Lela Rachon? And Chris Tucker? And Lorenz Tate?

Confession: I love Glee, but I don't think it can maintain its charm for more than 3 seasons, but a Glee movie might be really good if it's done right.

I love MJB and she’s one of the most consistent artists in music right now. Outside of the misstep that was Love & Life (which still had some good tracks), she is pretty reliable, but I wish she’d do another album like MARY. Color on the current album (but criminally wasn’t nominated for it’s inclusion in Precious) gave a hint of that stripped down soul that she is more than capable of giving us and I’d love to see her do something with Amy Winehouse and/or Mark Ronson.

PS. I’d love it if Janet would do something similar. She isn’t a soul belter like MJB, but she does have that Diana Ross coo (the Janet album has two Supremes samples) and her brothers are Motown royalty so she could do some covers or something like a Back to Black lite. Listen to Because of Love and I Want You and Whoops Now to know what I mean.